◦ About

A quiet pioneer in the work of love.

Twenty years of sitting with couples and individuals — listening for what wants to be said, and what's underneath what's being said.

Tsahai Ungar, relationship coach

Tsahai Ungar

Relationship Coach · Est. 2003

I came to this work through my own undoing. In my twenties, I watched a relationship I thought was unshakeable come apart in slow motion — and I had no language for what was happening. No framework, no map. Just the quiet ache of two people who loved each other and could not find their way back to one another.

That apartment, that year, that grief — it sent me looking. Not for a method, exactly, but for a way of being with another person that didn't collapse under the weight of real life.

Twenty years later, that's still the work. Helping people find their way back — to themselves, to each other, to the conversation underneath the conversation they keep having.

◦ What I believe
  • Love is not a feeling we either have or don't. It's a practice — a daily turning toward.
  • Most relationship problems are not communication problems. They're nervous system problems wearing a communication costume.
  • You cannot think your way into intimacy. You have to feel your way in, slowly, with another person willing to feel too.
  • The work is never about fixing the other person. It's about becoming someone who can stay.
◦ A practice across two decades

How the work
found its shape.

  1. 2003Began private coaching practice in Brooklyn.
  2. 2009Trained in Imago Relationship Therapy and IFS-informed work.
  3. 2014Faculty, NYC Center for Conscious Relationships.
  4. 2018Began retreat work for couples in upstate New York.
  5. 2022Moved her full practice online — clients on five continents.
  6. TodaySees roughly thirty long-term clients in any given season.
◦ Training

Studied widely. Held lightly.

The frameworks are the scaffolding. The work itself happens in what arises between us, in the room.

  • Certified Imago Relationship Therapist (Imago Relationships International)
  • Trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS) levels 1 & 2
  • Hakomi Method — somatic experiencing foundations
  • M.A., Counseling Psychology — Naropa University
  • Continuing study in Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy
◦ Begin a conversation

Curious if we'd work well?

A thirty-minute discovery call. Free. No script. Just a chance to talk and sense what's possible.

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